Bill, my beautiful Love

devotion

October 2015  Bill, my beautiful Love

 

One Friday night in October I had a rare weekend off, the plan was a weekend of decorating, which had been long put off and was desperately needed.

 

So I went to bed early so I could rise early and utilise as much of the weekend as I could.  However sleep did not come easily and I began to get a killing headache, I knew that this headache would come through my sleep and affect my energy the following day, so I decided to take some painkillers. Now this was very unusual for me, I rarely took prescription medication and the strongest painkiller I would take would be neurofen. Even when I had my car accident and my face hit the dash board I took 2 paracetamol and then nothing further.

 

In my drowsy state I reached into my bedside drawers and took two painkillers.

 

I was not aware at the time and to this day I do not know why they were in my drawer, but I had taken 2 tramadol. The next 40 hours was a haze to me, I was unconscious most of the time, in between periodic bouts of throwing up. I don’t remember too much about that time and looking back I was probably close to an overdose. I didn’t come back into consciousness until 10am Sunday morning.

 

When I woke up Sunday morning and came downstairs I soon learned that my ex partner, my soul mate and my sons father was dead…..he had died of an accidental tramadol overdose and was found in his bed. I believed I travelled with him that night as he passed, our energies entwined on this earth for one last time.

 

I loved this man with all my heart and we always knew each others thoughts and feelings no matter where we were. He was the most beautiful soul I have ever met but his demons in this life were too great for him and we both agreed that we could not be together in this life time but we would in the next. We were old souls together and we saw the bigger picture…..but even so it broke our hearts.

 

Although we separated 7 years ago neither of us had another relationship….how could we, are hearts belonged to each other.

 

Bill stayed with me in spirit until last Monday, he left as I could not grieve or move on with him beside me, so my heart broke again but as he said as I leave I make space for a new soul mate to come into your life. If he is as beautiful and heart centred as my Bill then I will be truly blessed.

 

M xxxxx

 

 

Advertisements

May 30th 2016 Energy

balance 1

May 30th 2016 Energy

 

Good morning, I hope everyone is well and enjoyed their weekend. This morning the predominant energy that I feel is balance, we are being urged to look at our life and concentrate on achieving more balance.

 

To achieve balance we utilise strength, integrity and discipline, we come from a calm and grounded viewpoint, responding rather than reacting to external stimuli.

 

We aim to be consciously aware of all areas of our lives and therefore be alerted to areas that are out of balance.

 

Take some time to look at the balance in your life and then be committed to doing something about it. As I have said in previous posts, understanding needs to be followed by action.

 

So is your life dominated by looking after others, often we unconsciously adopt the role of martyr or saviour, on the surface this may seem worthy and satisfy your ego but in reality it helps no one.

 

Do you over eat, drink or take drugs in excess, this form of self-medication is papering over the cracks so that you don’t have to face the issues that make you feel unworthy.

 

Are you always working, if so what are you trying to prove or attain and is it really worth the sacrifice.

 

However we may justify our actions or thought processes if we are out of balance it is usually because we are hiding something from ourselves or we are running away from something.

 

So take some time today to look at the balance in your life, draw in this energy and ask the universe for a way forward. If you are quiet and still the answer will come to you and then you need to put that into action .

 

It is up to you the balance achieved in your life, life does not happen to you, you create it. When life feels against you that is when you are least conscious in your life. It may make you feel like a victim however it is your unconscious that is constructing your reality…..make the unconscious conscious and you become the architect.

 

So reflect on the balance in your life and then do something about it! I am constantly assessing the balance in my life and then adjusting things accordingly which is why I am often seen as a little mad. I let go when most people hold on……and it makes me smile.

 

So take some time out today and feel the energy of balance, how does it apply to your life, what would it feel like to experience balance in all areas of your life and what can you do about it now!.

 

Have a wonderful day, lots of love and laughter Michele xxxx

May 29th 2016 Energy

orange 2

May 29th 2016 Energy

 

Good Morning, today I feel the energy of abundance, this is quite a light playful energy, I see it as a two tone energy, orange and purple.

You can use this energy to tap into your dreams and bring them forth, I find it tends to speed up manifestation just be careful what you wish for.

 

Gratitude it highly important when dealing with manifestation and abundance, gratitude opens you up to allow the abundance to occur. Our past conditioning often means that we are open to an abundance of bad luck but close down for the good stuff, deep down we often feel we don’t deserve it, or that there is a price to pay. These are weighty topics for processing but incredibly worth it. You can however bypass this to a certain extent when the energies are present on the planet in their raw and undiluted state, such as today.

 

Whatever you put in motion today will reap great rewards for you, this will include positive and negative states so be aware and attuned to what is going on with you today.

 

This is also a good time to reflect on what you really want more of in your life, check yourself do you really want this or that. Often we put off truly living in the present waiting for something to come along later, when that thing either never comes or we never truly wanted it , this was just an excuse not to commit to the now. Remember so much of what motivates us is unconscious, processing follows the conscious manifestation back to the unconscious or deep rooted source and releases it.

 

Growth and development without a good processing technique is like trying to clean a Lorry with a cotton bud, you may feel that you are making progress in a defined area but one trip on the road and you are back where you started.

 

So today create abundance and receive it with gratitude, whilst recognising all the areas of your life and life in general for which you are grateful, it is the perfect day to count your blessings.

 

Lots of love and laughter Michele xxxxx

May 28th 2016 Energy

balance

May 28th 2016

 

Good Morning, the stillness has lifted and more active and dynamic energy is coming through, this however may make those that have been avoiding release rather anxious.

 

When this active energy comes in it moves us and pushes us. If you are free and unrestricted then you can achieve a great amount, if however you are restricted through avoidance or fear then you will get a sense that something bad may be about to happen. This is not real it is the effect of energy that is not allowed to flow.

 

Today is a good day to look at the stories we tell ourselves, about who we are and why we are doing what we are doing. It is time to be honest with yourself, even if that is painful, what are you avoiding, what are you finding difficult to release. Often we can have our scars and baggage for so long that we find it difficult to let go even if it is for our benefit.

 

To bring your focus back in to you and the present try being more mindful, bring you attention to the tiny details In your now. It is only when we are present that we can truly observe our own behaviour and motivations.

 

Many people unconsciously have a discontinuity between who they think they are and the personality they display, we do not want discontinuity we want harmony balance integrity and truth. Many people are losing their way as they believe it is more important to appear all of these things than actually be them, that however is a remnant of the last paradigm and is not supported in this paradigm.

 

As we progress through the year it is going to become tougher and tougher to hide the truth from yourself and the lessons will become more extreme if you continue to look the other way, point the finger or play a constructed role. We are neither victims nor saviours, we are not damaged or broken as we have the tools to fix this, we are not half a whole searching for our other half, we are ALL, we are not waiting for anything, we just are in the moment.

 

The only time is now, so bring all your awareness to this moment, feel in to your own energy and bring the truth forth, your truth and then take it from there.

 

Enjoy this weekend, be constructive but more than anything get to know you and your world, all may not be quite what it appears.

May 27th 2016 Energy

discernment1

 

Good Morning, I hope you are all well, today the still energy continues but I can also feel the energy of trust and faith.

 

Many people struggle with these in their own lives, as it brings with it vulnerability; however they are pretty awesome energies and states to bring in.

 

Consciously breathe in these energies and see how you feel. Whilst you are doing this, recall times when you have “known” that something is going to happen. Or when you have had dreams that have come true or passing thoughts that have materialised, you have all had them and increasingly so over the last few years. How those gifts have progressed depends on how much faith belief and trust you have in yourself, these gifts and the Universe.

 

We also have to trust each other, now this is a toughie as we open ourselves up to getting hurt, abused or deceived however that is just one of the outcomes and being open and trusting is the only way to truly flow in life. Now this does not mean that we do not live without discernment, an element to be nurtured just like faith and trust. When you are living consciously you can discern the motives of another or whether it is wise to trust in this circumstance but once you do there are no half measures. If that person betrays your trust then you know that it is not personal, you do not close down or retract.  Maybe you didn’t act on what you discerned, maybe you didn’t listen to your gut feeling or maybe it was a lesson in not having an attachment to outcome. There are lots of possible scenarios here but one thing we should try not to do is contract our energy. It is better to be open and flowing with the occasional bump on the road than to be a dead end.

 

You may feel that you are in a corridor at the moment, one door has closed but the next hasn’t opened yet, this can be scary and frustrating but have trust that a new door will open but maybe you have some releasing to do or lessons to learn before you go through the next door.

 

Maybe you have a yearning to change your circumstances, house, job, whatever, you need trust and faith that you know your own desires and needs. Have faith that when you put it out there the Universe will respond.

 

Above all have faith that you are exactly where you need to be, you may not understand this and you may not see a way out but it is perfectly right for you. If you feel that you are not moving forward then look around, there is a lesson you haven’t seen yet, trust that the Universe will always provide the signs you need, you just need to look for them.

 

So draw on this energy today, see what it feels like in your system and apply it to something today, trust you child or your partner to do something that would normally worry you, trust in yourself you are stronger than you think, trust in the Universe to provide you with whatever you need in this moment.

 

Today is a good day to deal with any fears or anxieties that present themselves, just bring in the energy of faith and trust.

 

Have a good day, this weekend is going to be a good one, I feel the energy of manifestation coming in, we have some vibrant and constructive energies coming in tonight that are very dynamic…..we are all going to get our hair blown back this weekend, in a very good and exciting way.

 

The energies today are preparing us for this….to be truly connected, present and conscious we need to trust and have faith, then we can lie back and flow , lots of love and laughter Michele xxxxxx

May 25th 2016 Energy

 

light trails 4

Good Morning and how is every one ? So this week has been a bit of a mixed bag of energy so far and it may be leaving some of you feeling a little discombobulated. This often happens when the energy has this still quality to it.

 

Still rather calm energy is often misinterpreted and can make you feel a little down or sad when it is just stillness. It is a calm solid and stable settling of energy. We need to integrate this energy into our systems as much as possible as it is a fabulous grounding baseline energy.

 

There is much to come that may seem rather destructive , although just paving the way for construction, and for this we need a certain base level of calm and stability.

 

This strong still and calm energy also helps us to release deep seated issues. Think of it like crusty pans soaking in the sink, as the detergents works its way into the stuck on food and lifts it off. So this is very useful energy, use it but remember we have free will so although the energy can bring your issues to the surface it is up to you whether you release or whether you hold on tightly.

 

For some this energy is interpreted as the calm before the storm, which implies troubles ahead. Try and step back and adjust your viewpoint, it means change ahead but that is not a bad thing, it can mean challenges ahead but again this is not a bad thing, challenges are when we really get to see how strong and awesome we are, they are also amazing learning experiences and life is never the same after a challenge like this and that is good thing.

 

Ah I can also feel and big surge in love coming this afternoon, welcome this in, love is eternal and infinite and it is what powers us, embrace it and let it flow freely through and around you.

 

There are also messages everywhere for us and we cannot underestimate the cheering squad we have in spirit, you just have to look for it, or be open.

 

So when you feel a bit odd, don’t let your mind assume or fill in the blanks, step back and really feel into the energy, what is it you are feeling…it may not be what you think.

 

So no matter how hard you may feel life is right now remember you chose to be here at this particular time in our history, why ? Because you have the skills that are needed right now, this is where you are on your path and you can rock this!

 

It is a magical time in deed, lots of love and laughter Michele xxxxx

May 24th 2016

IMG_3255

Good Morning, I hope everyone is well, The Energy report is going to be a little late this morning as I have the builders coming shortly. However you can do this….you can reach out and feel the energy coming in.

Breathe deeply and sit quietly, feel your energy edging outwards, keep breathing and say what you feel.

If anyone would like to post what they are feeling that would be fab.

Seize the day beautiful people, lots of love and laughter Michele xxxx