October 2015 Bill, my beautiful Love
One Friday night in October I had a rare weekend off, the plan was a weekend of decorating, which had been long put off and was desperately needed.
So I went to bed early so I could rise early and utilise as much of the weekend as I could. However sleep did not come easily and I began to get a killing headache, I knew that this headache would come through my sleep and affect my energy the following day, so I decided to take some painkillers. Now this was very unusual for me, I rarely took prescription medication and the strongest painkiller I would take would be neurofen. Even when I had my car accident and my face hit the dash board I took 2 paracetamol and then nothing further.
In my drowsy state I reached into my bedside drawers and took two painkillers.
I was not aware at the time and to this day I do not know why they were in my drawer, but I had taken 2 tramadol. The next 40 hours was a haze to me, I was unconscious most of the time, in between periodic bouts of throwing up. I don’t remember too much about that time and looking back I was probably close to an overdose. I didn’t come back into consciousness until 10am Sunday morning.
When I woke up Sunday morning and came downstairs I soon learned that my ex partner, my soul mate and my sons father was dead…..he had died of an accidental tramadol overdose and was found in his bed. I believed I travelled with him that night as he passed, our energies entwined on this earth for one last time.
I loved this man with all my heart and we always knew each others thoughts and feelings no matter where we were. He was the most beautiful soul I have ever met but his demons in this life were too great for him and we both agreed that we could not be together in this life time but we would in the next. We were old souls together and we saw the bigger picture…..but even so it broke our hearts.
Although we separated 7 years ago neither of us had another relationship….how could we, are hearts belonged to each other.
Bill stayed with me in spirit until last Monday, he left as I could not grieve or move on with him beside me, so my heart broke again but as he said as I leave I make space for a new soul mate to come into your life. If he is as beautiful and heart centred as my Bill then I will be truly blessed.