Nothing is personal, even though it feels that way.
Don’t take things personally, what other people think of you is their reality not yours!
We take everything personally but nothing ever is and once you are able to live life from this perspective the world is a less painful and frustrating place to be.
The topic of taking things personally could fill a book so for now I will focus on when people say bad things about you.
People say mean, judgemental and gossipy things all the time and it sucks. Having someone who you may or may not know say something about you that is untrue or just nasty can be so hurtful and cause all sorts of negative reactions in you.
Sometimes you turn these emotions inwards and other times you explode outwardly, neither is good for you but they feel outside of your control. After all you can’t control what other people think and say about you, that’s true but you can stop it affecting you.
A slight shift in perspective will help you take those first steps to being liberated from the opinions and actions of others.
It really isn’t personal and what someone has to say about you has more to say about whom they are as a person.
- Nobody knows you, not really, not all of you; you are way too complex and multi-faceted to be known by one person. Nobody knows your life, they see but a snapshot, projected through your filter and perceived through theirs. No one is in a position to judge you with any merit and nor do they have right to, although they do have a right to their opinion and you have a right to refuse that opinion. Just don’t take it on board, who they see is not you, so it is of no consequence.
- They are coming from their own view point, which has nothing to do with you! We are each the centre of our own universe, our reality and everyone else is the centre of theirs. We see life from this viewpoint and filter all information, reasoning and interpretation through this lens. Their reality is not ours.
- Each person has an energetic baseline which colours their interactions. People with a negative baseline will always focus on, amplify and create more negativity. They also have their own intentions needs and desires that motivates them into being gossipy or abusive, this has nothing to do with you.
- People who gossip or say mean spirited things behind your back are bored unfulfilled and living unconsciously. They are afraid of their own inner world so they focus on their outer world as a distraction but this does not fulfil them and they end up having nothing to say but talk about other people. Having a baseline of fear makes people try and feel powerful or in control of their outer world, gossiping achieves this. All negative emotions have their root in fear.
- What a person talks about most is what they themselves have unreconciled within. Their unconscious is speaking to them in the hope that they hear. They aren’t getting angry or judgemental with you, it is all about them.
Then think about how you react to this! This is a two way street, what people think or say about you would have no effect If you didn’t react.
- You feel hurt by what people say and think about you because of your own core wounds. These jabs from others just poke into those wounds and that is where the pain comes from, they are not creating the pain, they are triggering an existing wound.When we are able to heal and release these wounds then other people can poke as much as they like and it won’t bother you in the slightest. You won’t feel pain you will feel compassion as you will see them as a soul in fear.
- We have all been conditioned to be people pleasers. We want everyone to like us as this validates that we are a good person as we don’t believe it truly ourselves. So when someone doesn’t like us or says untruths or mean things it can make us go a little crazy. Stop this one in its tracks and see your own true worth!
- Do you really care what a particular person says about you? Do you even like them? Do you value their opinion? If you wouldn’t go to them for advice why do you care about their opinion now? We do have a tendency to focus on the bad things people say about us and shrug off the good.
- Gossips gossip, it’s what they do. They gossip about everyone and by the time you got to hear about it, it’s old news. So how long are you going to keep this going in your energy? You are the only one holding on to it. Gossips don’t, they are as unaware of their lives and what comes out of their mouths and the impact they have as a potato.
- If people listen to them then the same points apply to them.
When you take a step back from the drama and the hurt you can see that this really has nothing to do with you. If they were in a happier place they wouldn’t behave in this way and if it wasn’t you it would be someone else. This is about them and their world so just be grateful you aren’t them and walk on by.
I can show you this new perspective and teach you the techniques to find heal and release your core wounds so that someone’s words no longer have the power to hurt you.
I would love for you to join me and the growing numbers of awesome people who are ready to change their life and create something wonderful by signing up to my Online Personal Development Course.
Lots of love and laughter Michele xxx
Click the link below for more information.
Micheleelizabeth.co.uk Unlocking the Potential of You
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