Negative relationships and what they teach us

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24/8/2014

I have been in a lot of negative and abusive relationships. I have been abused by family members partners and friends, sometimes in a quiet and manipulative way and sometimes in a punch you in the face way.

 

The last time this happened was with a friend of about 7 years, although those around me would tell me how mean and abusive she was towards me, how she undermined and controlled me, putting me down with a sneer of her lip at any opportunity, whilst smiling and offering a hand to help, I did nothing about it. I would rather think I was over reacting or I was being mean.

 

Then one day I fell in love with myself, I finally saw me for who I was, I was proud of the person I was and the way I lived my life. I saw this validated in the good karma that was all around. I finally accepted me and with that came a refusal to be abused. I no longer allowed that negativity in my life, it was unacceptable.

 

I had allowed years and years of abuse at the hands of those closest to me because I agreed with them at a deep and unconscious level. I felt I deserved their abuse and I would seek their approval or do what they wanted for an easy life or because it meant I was being good and making them happy.

 

This understanding was the first step to total freedom. Once I understood and appreciated my own self worth I was able to say NO, without anger or hurt, just NO that is no longer acceptable in my world.

 

This happened with the last abuser in my life, I said NO and walked away, that was that and my life has taken off in ways you would never believe. My life is now abuser free and will remain that way as I have brought to light my issues that brought such people into my life.

 

They were there to push me to look within and accept and embrace me. To give myself the love and support that I readily gave others. This brings great strength and harmony and gratitude to them for teaching me that lesson.

Now of course when you walk away from someone who has been mainlining your energy for years there are going to be some fall out. However once you have refused to allow that negativity in your life, their efforts at control fall on stony ground.

 

Yes I have had some anger and abuse sent my way from those I have walked away from, after all this was not part of their plan. Yes they may spin a story that I am the aggressor and they are the victim and yes they may enlist the help of others in their attack against me but their energy is no longer invited into my energy field and therefore all their attacks are of no consequence and if you feel yourself getting pulled back into their drama then look within as there is something within you that needs balancing.

 

So if you feel something is off within a relationship, if you feel that you are being controlled and do things for an easy life, if you feel slower or sadder when around these people or if you find yourself putting their demands before your own needs then look at your own lesson, these people are in your life for a reason, and that reason is that you fall in love with yourself.

 

If you find that you are the one still attached to a relationship that has run its course, look within to release attachments and cords. You don’t need to jump on someone else’s back to get where you need to go, you need to look within and see your own inner strength and beauty. Sucking someone else’s energy may give you a temporary boost, loving yourself is permanent and steady.

 

You have to let it go, whichever side of the fence you are on….if you cannot see this, look at your life, are you moving on and flowing or are you constantly in a loop of struggle disappointment and failure?

 

Bring it to light, accept that you brought this into your life to learn about yourself, embrace the lesson,send gratitude for the relationship and then move on! These times are way too interesting and exciting to be caught up in someone else’s drama….Love and laughter Michele xxxxxxx

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