Excerpts from my journal
– I have journaled for many years, recording my spiritual and personal development. I would like to share with you some of those entries, so that you can see some of the things available to experience when you make that connection and commit to a path of growth and learning. Also so that you can identify with some of my experiences and know that you are not alone, for you to see maybe the patterns in experiences and how the universe works. I also like to share with you as one person connecting with another……..these are my experiences, they have helped shape me but they do not define me….I hope you enjoy x
November 16th 2009 Meditation
I went into my mediation and went into my “land”; As usual I was open to whatever was presented to me. I went to the pond and found Johab (Johab was my guide) I love Johab, I feel so safe and cared for when I am with him, We walked to the bench and sat down, we sat in a lovely silence for a while and then he said this
“Michele I am about to tell you something that is going to help prepare you for the months ahead, everything is going to be ok,
First your grandad is going to die” I gasped inward and cried when? Soon Johab replied, before the year ends.
“Then your Grandma is going to die and then your mother, they will all pass in quick succession” I felt myself spinning. My mind was trying to process this information; I was trying to make sense of it all. At the same time I knew there was more, I knew it was a man close to me that would be the fourth to die; I can’t bear it, if it was my brother or my dad.
Then Johab said “after a period of time…” I shouted stop, I didn’t want to hear it, and I can’t take anymore. I just can’t face it. We have time to deal with this one later.
Johab agreed, I asked him why he was telling me, how was this going to help? He told me that it was to keep the family together; with so much loss this could fracture the family. I could make sure everyone was where they needed to be and be the support that was needed.
I realise that I need to deal with my grief upfront so that I can be a beacon of light for them.
I sat with Johab for a while, he told me that I have all the support around me that I need and to go to my healing cave daily, that everything up to now has led me to this point so that I can do what needs to be done.
Feeling a little shaky and in shock I came out of my meditation.
Wow, I don’t really know how I feel or what I am thinking, wow I am going to take a couple of days to let this all sink in wow.
When I did this meditation my Grandad was poorly, he had been unwell for many years with kidney failure. My Grandmother was in good health and apart from controlled asthma and a problem with her knee she had no ailments at all. My Mother had a history of cancer but had been clear for over 10 years. I had been estranged from my Mother for around 6 years
I had the meditation in the middle of November 2009 my Grandfather passed 2 weeks later in the first week of December 2009; My Grandmother died 7 months later in July 2010 and my Mother passed 7 months later in February 2011.
I was able to spend time most days with my Grandparents and ensure that my brothers and Dad did too. The night my Grandmother died my father had decided to not see her; I changed his mind on this, so he had no regrets.
I dealt with the issues I had with my mother, thank you processing techniques and when I got the call in February 2010 to say Mums cancer was back I was able to go to her in a completely balanced state and just be there for her. As I had processed everything any anger etc. was gone, I didn’t need anything from her, I didn’t need an apology or an explanation, and I was just there with love to give her strength and support.
This was a beautiful gift and a wonderful part of both our journeys. We had a wonderful year together that went into death and beyond.
I was able to be there for my brothers and the rest of my family because I was prepared; I had looked after me first. I worked on processing all of my relationships so that I was in a balanced state. These were highly emotional times and family members can trigger you like no other, so I had to make sure there was nothing to trigger. I never told my family about this meditation apart from my older brother once we came out the other side, his face was as white and shocked as if I had presented him with a parade of ghosts…..we never spoke of it again.
There is also a quiet strength that comes with this knowledge, you don’t get knocked over by the shock of the situation, and you are ready.
I was also able to energetically hold the space for them, lifting their energy to give them space to breathe and process. Holding someone’s space is a lovely thing for all involved.
Being given that information and believing it changed so much for me and my family, I can see now how things may have played out very differently.
The fourth person to die was neither my father or my brother but my son’s father and the love of my life but that is another story.
So processing and meditation are an absolute must if you want to tap into the knowledge of the universe and use it to make your life more balanced and blissful. That one meditation changed the lives of so many.
This life is to be lived; bringing all states together in unity, this is neither a life to be lived in an altered state at the exclusion of the physical nor the other way round. We need to use our connection to help us in the physical.