When I started to consciously walk my path I seemed to go through a series of growth periods.
Looking back I can see this and wanted to share it with you, so that you can see it’s all part of a process leading you to peace of mind and joy, you are not losing your way, it’s all part of your natural progression and you can’t take step 5 until you have taken that first step.
1) I was going to change the world.
When I first started to become more aware I started to notice all the injustices in the world, all the tragedy and pain. I noticed the lies and pretence, the deceit and manipulation. I was horrified, angry, indignant and I also felt shame and regret as I was also becoming aware of these things in myself. So I pushed down those feelings of shame and regret and focused my energy outward. I was on a one woman crusade to change the world. I was however being triggered , being asked to look at the darkness within me, I was not however at that stage aware of that. So the crusade continued. Toddler stage, I was throwing a massive temper tantrum
2) I saw the bigger picture, I had all the answers
As my awareness continued to expand and my connection grew stronger, I was given insights into the very fabric of life which blew apart my existing belief structure. I thought I had all the answers. I was on a roll and I felt it was vitally important that I share this with everyone. I was quite sanctimonious in approach I think, definitely forceful. Oh how naieve I was, I thought I knew it all but I knew about 1% of what I know now and still that is a drop in the ocean. This stage is similar to the age of about 6-11 and maybe a bit of teenager too. You know when children have been at school for a few years so they have a handle on it and think they know everything, yep that was me.
3) Ownership of spirituality
My awareness was expanding daily and my connection growing stronger and stronger. I was becoming more and more aware of the synchronicities around me guiding me. Although doing a lot of internal work I was still directing my focus outward and how I could change the world, many thoughts theories and ideas were coming to me, often misguided as I was trying to put the jigsaw together when I didn’t have all the pieces. I did however take ownership of these ideas, they came from my mind they must be mine and exclusively mine. I didn’t realise that I was tapping into the collective consciousness, something we can all do, these ideas had been thought by millions of people over the centuries, what is important is when those ideas are taken from thought into action, into the physical. 50 people may share an idea but only 2 are in the right place to make it real. This was most definitely my teenager stage when I felt that I was the first person to think of these things or make those connections, I admit at times I felt a bit special.
4) Processing Freak
I learnt a processing technique that worked well for me and had me hooked. I couldn’t wait to react to something emotionally so I could go off and process it. I became a bit of a bore I think. Every situation was an opportunity for me to spot a trigger, find the root and release. I was a responsibility nut, finding what was my responsibility, in every event, I think stages 2 and 3 might have shown up here in the early days of processing. I had seen the light and I wanted everyone else to as well, as I continued processing and releasing my issues I quickly saw things differently.
5) What a load of rubbish
This stage comes and goes a lot at first. One minute I am happily going with the flow, the sun is shining and life is good then someone pulls the plug and I find myself in darkness. No real growth seems to occurring and my connection seems weak. What happened? Was I deluding myself, was I crazy? Right that’s it I am going back to being “normal” Now I see that these periods of darkness are all part of the process we go through as we travel our path. Sometimes it is pointing us to areas we need to look at, other times it is just for rest and recuperation. We should never underestimate the physical changes we are going through too. The day always follows the night and as you grow you reconcile the light and dark.
5) I prefer being in another dimension
As I grew my meditations and astral experiences expanded considerably, I have received all of my teaching through spirit and it has been an awesome mind blowing experience that words cannot even come close to describing, I could talk about it all day long, as I am sure many of you can relate. Anyway it got to the point where I preferred being in other dimensions, spirit warned me, “I could visit but I could not stay” but I loved it and was often “not here” even when not consciously meditating, part of me didn’t seem to come back from the meditations. This brought with it a few problems, we are physical beings living in the 3d (well we were then) and we need to operate and survive here and you cannot do that when you are not present. Lesson learned on that one! I came back down to earth with a thud
6) Finding my heart
The most beautiful, comforting and profound moment of my life, in that instant everything changed. Moving your awareness from your mind to your heart is going home. It is your light your love your truth.
As I have walked my path consciously I have gone through all of these stages and more. Always learning, changing and growing. Learning to be as fluid as the energy that we are or just unlearning that we are not. At each stage I was doing exactly what I should have been doing, I needed the anger or the self righteousness to spur me forward or to help me learn for example.
Looking back it is a wonderfully orchestrated process….just another of miracle of life.
Lots of love and laughter Michele